We crossed the border into the lovely land of Spain
We're looking for one thing and it ain't rain on the plain
This tour's been brutal and we need some sweet relief
But no one thought the slope would be so fucking steep

Gimme a bed or gimme a bullet
Times are low but dontcha think we know it
We're high as fuck
I hope we don't blow it
So gimme a bed or gimme a bullet

We slide behind the bar. . . the first batch goes right down
Now Dan-o's at the DJ booth and he's chopping up the mound
Next it's the girls' room where we all decide to meet
Why is he so fucking tall?
He's on the toilet seat

We got caught in a storm
A snowstorm in Benidorm
It's not outta the norm for the creatures there
Somos borrachos. . . machos gazpachos
We're high as fuck but we don't care!

Steve's outside rambling while I'm hiding under the sheets
Dan-o's in a taxicab squirming in his seat
Ben's probably snoozing cuz he did not partake
In the copious pile of that unholy flake

It's almost noontime and I still can't get no rest
I've got a mine field exploding in my chest
I stumble outside and lo what do I see
Our van's a-rocking. . . yeah, it's Mister Connery