Bob Schneider
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Fast Food Shuffle

Bob Schneider


I’m up at the crack of dawn.
I put my uniform on.
I’m catching the bus without a fuss
While I’m sportin’ a yawn.
I get to work late.
I’m not feelin’ too great
’Cause irritated and berated
Are my boss’ best traits.
He says for me to wash the store,
Sweep and mop the floor.
Do the dishes grant my wishes
Or you work here no more.
I get minimum wage,
I feel I’m trapped in a cage
But I can’t survive or stay alive
Without gettin’ paid.

I’m just a dude don’t mean to cause no trouble.
I play my music at night and in the morning
I do the fast food shuffle.

My boss’ name is hakheem.
I’m not saying he’s mean
But if you’re leanin you’re cleanin
Until your hands turn green.
I knew a man named Jake.
The crap he couldn’t take.
He said, “the manager will challenge ya.
I’ll be at his wake.”
He brought a gun to the store.
The manager asked what for.
He said, “I’m tired” and fired
And ran out the door
But hakheem wasn’t hurt
When he pulled off his shirt.
He had a vest on his chest
That made the bullets not work.

I’m just a dude don’t mean to cause no trouble.
I play my music at night and in the morning
I do the fast food shuffle.

Now when I was a kid
I learned a lesson from another brother
Older than myself. A lesson
Later that helped.
It was a fundamental lesson
In the rules of life we’re living
Giving me the power later on
To help myself.
Sometimes you gotta learn
The hardest way there is to learn.
“can’t teach a young man any faster,”
Said the master to the hopper.
So I do the best I can
And try hard not to understand
This life I lead just like my poppa.

’Cause I’m just a dude don’t mean to cause no trouble.
I play my music at night and in the morning I do the fast food shuffle.

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