Chorus:

I'm the queen of the sleazy tabloids
I rule the trashy kingdom
Like Lady Di they make sure I am never left alone
Papparazzi and reporters stalk me from the shadows
Making sure to kepp my royal assetts on my throne

Oh they talk about the lovers
That I keep undercover
And I wish that I was as much fun
As they have you believe
Just like Alec Baldwin
I'd love to whack 'em all one
But instead I'll wait and see
Who I am sleepin' with next week

I'm the queen of the sleazy tabloids
And I rule the trashy kingdom
But the rumors raise my cue score
And pay for my big home
I guess I 'augt to sue them
But instead I guess I'll use them
To keep me in the spotlight
And keep me on my throne

Cause I'm the queen of the sleazy tabloids