I spotted Miss World too good to be true
But the club was pretty dark and I'd had quite a few
I stagger to her table sipping my brew
But just as I get there she goes to the loo
Impatient bastard now what do I do?
Then I cop her friend and she's alright too
Her arse in good shape above average boat
I ask her name, she sticks 'er tongue down my throat
I'm not one to gloat or boast but take note
Twenty minutes gone and she's getting her coat
So I down my beer – my boys start to cheer
Grin across my face runs from here to here
She gives me the look and I mean the look
Was it love a first sight man or somethin' she took?
A swagger in my step like a crook, then I think
The girl looks shook she's had too much to drink
I look at her eyeballs to see if they're pink
But I don't get a chance cos she gives me a wink
So travel to hers in an illegal cab
Plus I know she's a student her house is drab
In my head I'm laughing, I've put the graft in
Stereos playing some timeless Marvin
The lights dim down and the clothes come off
But I pass out, cos her pillow's too soft

Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you

I'm up the next mornin, but where the hell's this
I'm trapped in girly purple abyss
It's proving costly she took me hostage
First things first man where's the Frosties?
I slowly tiptoe towards the door
But she grabs my left arm like I've broken the law
Now who am I kidding, I aint her guest
But she playing like she got me under house arrest
She starts with a speech about how she's feeling
But I'm more intrigued by her lilac ceiling
Any time now there's a question pending
She wants to confirm a romantic ending
Why do they charm you with Hocus Pocus?
I gotta get home for the Football Focus
To dodge small talk I admit defeat
Er how are you for dinner love Tuesday week?

Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you

As we waited at the bus stop she wanted a cab
But I made her see sense with the gift of the gab
A cab's 20 quid and that's money for us
Plus its it's one nugget each on the 220 bus
There's one little issue that we gotta address
I got just enough cash for a Pizza express
Even though she's wants Thai Chilli Beef with Mango
I'd be content with some wings from Nandos
We get to express but before we can order
She starts with a tirade that I never call her
I say I'm tryna keep my phone bills smaller'
Try and change the subject- 'have you got taller?'
'Don't gimme that, that's a loada tosh'
She says words like that she's a little bit posh
'All I want El is a call at lunches'
As she keeps ranting the waiter approaches
'Be honest you want this to work or not?'
'Er, doughballs please and an American Hot'
'I'm talking geezer I want to know please'
'She'll have a Caesar with no anchovies -
And two Peronis' he makes a note
I look back at her and she's getting her coat
She heads for the door like a spoilt adult
More food for me ay what a result!

I don't want

Chrous [x2]
I don't want
(no no no no)
To be true
(no no no no)
I don't want
To make love to you