Take all the money that we need for school
And to keep the street people in out of the cold
Spend it on a weapon you can never use
Make the world an offer that they can't refuse
Open up the door and let the shark-men feed
Hoover of the future in the land of greed
Sell the Ponderosa to the Japanese
Slap leather, head for that line of trees, yeah
Slap leather
Go on Ron
Just about to go myself

Turn the whole wide world into a TV show
So it's just the same game wherever you go
You never meet a soul that you don't already know
One big advertisement for the status quo
As if these celebrities were your close friends
As if you knew how the story ends
As if you weren't sitting in a room alone
And there was somebody real at the other end of the phone, yeah
Squibnocket
Phone sex
Just about to dial your number

Get all worked up so we can go to war
We find something worth killing for
Tie a yellow ribbon around your eyes
Big McFalafel and a side of fries
Yeah, Big McFalafel
Stormin' Norman
I just love a parade
Slap leather
Phone love
Big McFalafel
Just about to dial myself