Well it started out like any other day
The sunshine blew the clouds away
Mini-skirts are in today
And the weather's gettin warm

We sat outside the fox & duck
Had a pint and had a look
Could almost taste the summer sun
When something caught the eye

Well I turned around quite slowly
And I tried to hold her gaze
Then somebody told me
That's a mate of elaine's

Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did she have a ring on?
You know I never even thought!
Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did you wear a jonny?
You know I never even thought!

Well elaine she's sat in the corner
Drinking vodka & coke through a straw
She seems half-cut already
And it's only quarter to four

Well elaine she looked at this fella
She said let's get right out of this place
Come give me a snog in the disabled bog
And I'll put a smile on your face

And it might sound a little improper
And elaine must be easy to please
Cos she came out of there well smilin
With grazes all over her knees!

Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did she have a ring on?
You know I never even thought!
Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did you wear a jonny?
You know I never even thought!

Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did she have a ring on?
You know I never even thought!
Oh no, what ya caught?
Was she worth it?
No not at all!
Did you wear a jonny?
You know I never even thought!

I never even thought!
I never even thought!
I never even thought!
You know I never even thought!