Dear party of the first part
It’s time to draw the line
It’s time to make the list and
Divide up the broken heart
Dear mother of my daughter
Dear father of my son
It’s time to face the problem and
Find the proper dissolution

‘Cause this is the New Math
This is the New Math
We didn’t add up, so now we’ve got to decide
This is the New Math
This is the New Math
Still I think it’s a shame how we multiply and divide

Dear children of our union
It’s time to have the talk
This may get hard to follow
You’d better get some chalk
We’ll put it on the blackboard
Husband minus wife
Sorry you had to learn so young
There’s math in real life

‘Cause this is the New Math
This is the New Math
We didn’t add up, so now we’ve got to take sides
This is the New Math
This is the New Math
Still I think it’s a shame how we multiply and divide

Don’t worry
It’ll be okay
Even though I won’t see you every day
Mommy still loves you
Daddy still loves you
Instead of one home now you’ll have two

Dear holder of my dreams
Do you recall our honeymoon?
I really meant forever but
Forever came too soon
It’s easy to divide up two
There’s nothing to explain
We end up back with me and you
Equal shares of pain
But when you divide a family
Something still remains
It never comes out even
Something still remains

‘Cause this is the New Math
This is the New Math
Any answer’s all right if it’s justified
This is the New Math
This is the New Math
Still I think it’s a shame how we multiply and divide