Good evening, children of cultural abandon
You searched for a saviour, well here I am
And all the best ones are dying off so quickly
While I'm still here, enjoy me while you can

[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
The charisma's non-negotiable
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
I'm about to strip and you're my pole

We are so glorious
Why not leave your job and come on tour with us?
Before I drop dead and die

Good evening, lovers of quality entertainment
Good evening to the others that don't know hit
Even you will leave here with a t-shirt and a programme
Got a house in LA, I'm still paying for it…

[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
It's just the tip but no one will know
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
All the girls (Robbie!) , the boys go (No!)

You are magnificent
Maybe come on stage and be a part of it
I said maybe, baby, baby oh

[Bridge]
Come leave the life you're living
Show me the light you're giving
I'll give it all then a little bit more, oh-oh-woah

“He would sell his children
For a hit in Belgium
God knows what he's done
For a number one”

[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
Where the more you see, the less you know
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
Where Eminem meets Barry Manilow

I am notorious
For making all the crowd sing the chorious
I just made up that word

[Bridge]
Come love the life I'm living
Bathe in the light I'm giving
“He'll give it all and a little bit more”

[Chorus]
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
I'm a volcano that's about to blow
Welcome to the Heavy Entertainment Show
This is how I'd like to say “Hello”