(Chris Lindsey/Stephonie Seekel)

Why can't I?
G.I. Joe moved to Mexico
He's hiding from the IRS
Wearing diamond rings and livin' like a king
At an undisclosed address
Superman flew to Japan
Gave up fightin' crime
He's doin' commercials for compact cars
Livin' in a big high rise

Everybody's gotta grow up sometime
To get a little slice of that big ol' American pie
Yeah, everybody's gotta grow up sometime
Why can't I?

The ol' Lone Ranger bought an RV park
Somewhere in Arizona
And Tonto built a big casino
And owns half of Oklahoma
Barbie and Ken, they got a divorce
I guess that's the way it goes
She got the house and the accessories
And told Ken to hit the road

Everybody's gotta grow up sometime
To get a little slice of that big ol' American pie
Yeah, everybody's gotta grow up sometime
Why can't I?

All of my heroes abandoned their egos
And left me at home on the range
I'm still stuck and I'm still down on my luck
Waitin' for something to change

Everybody's gotta grow up sometime
To get a little slice of that big ol' American pie
Yeah, everybody's gotta grow up sometime
Why can't I?