Well you should see Polythene Pan

She's so good looking but she looks like a man

Well you should see her in drag

Dressed in a polythene bag

Yes you should see Polythene Pan

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Get a dose of her in jackboots and kilt

She's killer-driller when she's dressed to the hilt

She's the kind of a girl

That makes the "News of the World"

Yes you could say she was attractively built

Yeah, yeah, yeah!