Don't forget to tip the waiter He might slip you a mickey Don't forget to tip the bartender He might spit in your drink
What a shame it would be spinning uncontrollably Or choking down a big ol' green lung cookie
Always always tip the bellhop All your bags he'll be sure to drop Always always tip the band Then they'll rock you like a hurricane
What a shame it would be luggage falling ten stories Or having a guitar thrown into your face
Never never stiff the local cop He might hit you with his billy club (bop bop shoe bop) Never ever stiff the judge Bake him some brownies or some fudge
What a shame it might be bleeding from your head profusely Or doing a nickel in the federal penitentiary