Jorma: Hello?
Kiv: Hi, do you want to go to a party with me?
Jorma: No. The game's on.
Kiv: Oh, I almost forgot. I'll be right there.

We like sportz and we don't care who knows
From shooting hoops, to the Super Bowl
We like sportz and we don't care who knows
Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.

The game is starting everyone is here,
I got my snacks, my friends, and a beer
Just two normal guyz hanging out having fun
Kiv: Right guy number 2?
Jorma: Yeah guy number 1.
E to the S to the P to the N
Is all I watch cause I'm the man
If my team loses I'll be mean all night
If you tell me to relax we'll get in a fight
Watching sportz with girls is a pain
They don't know the rules; there's no time to explain
Single, double, triple, home-run
For the celebration I'll shoot my gun
I like my friend, he's a real guys guy
He's not a loud-mouth like that cunt-hole Steve
We like sportz and we don't care who knows
From Wimbledon to the Astrodome

We like sportz and we don't care who knows
Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.

Now when I say "sportz", you say "nutz"
"Sportz!"
"Nutz!"
"Sportz!"
"Nutz!"
When I say "cheating", you say "sux"
"Cheating!"
"Sux!"
"Cheating!"
"Sux!"

I drink whiskey cause I like the taste
You think its bitter but I think its great
I also drink whiskey and we smoke cigars
Don't believe me? Smell our cars
We're real men, and we like sportz
If you say we're not then we'll see you in court
Jorma: I'm team captain and I choose you
Kiv: I'm the other team captain and I choose you too
We steal the ball and we're off to the races
Then scare the other team with our mad dog faces like,
What what what what what what.
What what what what what what.

We like sportz and we don't care who knows
From the pregame toast to the wrap-up show
We like sportz and we don't care who knows
Football Football Football. Tennis. Hockey. Golf.

Kiv: Throw me the baseball.
Jorma: Now toss me the pig skin.
Kiv: Now feed me the rock.
Jorma: Now give me the rock.